My Guardian Angel
by RandomHamster33
Summary: Pinkie Pie has a guardian angel. They're always together. She was Pinkie's first friend. But other ponies can't see her like Pinkie can. Pinkie wishes they could see her.
1. Surprise, Surprise!

I mope along, a never ending frown upon my face. My flat, dark pink mane hangs limply from my neck, covering half my face. I sigh openly. Nopony's there to hear it; they're all inside, eating. I don't want to eat with them. They're no fun. I kick a rock idly. My light blue eyes are starting to well up with tears as I walk along, dirty hooves scuffing the sandstone.

Oh, sorry, I guess I forgot to introduce myself.

My name is Pinkamena Diane Pie. I'm only eight years old. I live on a rock farm with my family. They're the only ponies I've ever known. I have two sisters, Marble and Limestone Pie. My father's name is Igneous Rock and my mother is Cloudy Quartz. They may be my family, but they're nothing like me, I can tell.

All my life I've wanted to be happy. I'm not sure what that feels like, as my whole life has been nothing but an ever going void of unhappiness and despair. I've also never seen somepony smile. My parents and my sisters never smile, _ever_. Since they don't, I've just learned that nopony does, I guess. Smiling is pretty much prohibited here.

So I mope along wherever I go. Not like it matters. I'll never be happy. I don't even know what it feels like to be loved. It's like since I'm pink, that I'm the outcast of the family. My Granny Pie and Nana Pie said that I shouldn't feel like that. I think they might love me, actually, now that I think about it, but I guess I'll never know. Dad doesn't let them come around anymore.

I'm sure you don't want to hear my complaints the whole time, do you? Sorry. It's just me being me.

Well, sun's about gone. I better head inside.

I walk inside, halfheartedly pushing the door open. Upon entering, I see my family has already finished eating. The table is clear and washed, not a single crumb visible on the wooden surface. I sigh and go over to the fridge. I grab a few carrots and a juice box; apple, my favorite, then sneak upstairs, being extra careful to let my hooves step lightly, as not to alert my family of my presence. Our stairs creak a lot.

The house is black. I can barely see anything, but since I do this on most days, I'm now used to the depressing darkness. I enter my room. I have my own since my sisters have their own that they share.

My room isn't very big. It's really nothing but a large closet. I have a small bed in one corner. The sheets are grey. The pillows are grey.

I have a small, rickety table next to it, with an old dusty lamp sitting on it. It serves a dual purpose—as a nightstand, plus as my work table. I don't go to school, so I don't do homework on it. I draw. I draw my feelings. I have a special sketch book. I also have some more expensive artist pencils. I snuck into town one day and bought them with a gem I found. I've only ever found one, but it was well spent. I'm glad I bought the bigger packet of pencils. I've already used up three. I still have five left.

That's pretty much the gist of my room. There's a shelf along the other side of my room that holds a few knickknacks I've collected, but other than that, my room is empty.

I yawn slightly, but ignore it. I keep my light off and jump up into my chair. I idly sip on the juice box and crunch on my carrots as I fiddle with a small, shiny rock I found in the fields today. It feels kind of warm as I run my hooves over it. I think I'll keep it.

The small clock on my desk reads five to ten. I feel my eyelids droop slightly and I get up from my desk/nightstand. I scramble into bed and stare up at the white ceiling. I can see faces. Evil faces. I think of what Granny Pie told me.

"Giggle at your fears, Pinkie Pie. Laugh at them. Don't let them beat you. They're not really there at all," the wrinkly old mare would tell her while patting her head. "Yes, Pinkie, don't worry. It's all going to be okay."

I like that nickname. It makes me seem fun and carefree. Although I've never had fun. I could pretty much see the mare now, her graying indigo mane and wrinkly, blue fur. Her eyes, a bright, shining, sky blue—same as mine—always full of kindness and cheer.

I feel a small twitching in my lips. I quickly frown. What was that? Am I getting sick? I decide to ignore it and instead lean over to switch off my lamp. The darkness closes in on me immediately and I shudder. I try telling myself it's nothing, but I can't help but feel I'm being watched. I pull my blankets up around my neck and curl up in a ball. I shiver involuntarily as I slip into my dreams.

* * *

"Pinkamena! Get out of bed!" a shrill voice commands. I jump slightly as I hear it. The sun filters in through the small window beside my table. I see my mother's grey-blue tail exit the room as I sit up in bed. I run my eyes and push the blankets off. I crawl out of bed and head towards the bathroom. I sullenly brush my teeth and my dull pink mane. Suddenly, I feel shivers go up my spine.

There's that feeling again! I know somepony's watching me, I'm sure of it. I glance around and a confused frown works its way over my muzzle. I see nothing.

I cautiously exit, searching for any members of my family that could've been watching me. I go downstairs and grab a light snack. Oops. I always eat after I brush my teeth by accident. Oh well.

I trot outside and begin my job. My sisters work silently beside me. We push the rocks with our muzzles to the other side of the field. It's a boring and pretty much useless task. I mean, who wants to buy boring old rocks? I have no clue, but I don't want anypony to hate me anymore than they already do, so I do it, although begrudgingly.

The sun hits midday. I can hear my father yelling for lunch. I turn around and see the family going inside. The others are sitting at the kitchen table eating sandwiches. They ignore me as I grab mine from the table and leave. I head towards my secret spot in the East Field. It's a nice, relaxing place. It's located closer to a forest than the other fields, so I like it. A small creek runs along the edge of the forest. I sit here and eat my lunch every day. It's a place I can be free of my suppressing family. They don't know about it.

I sit down in a patch of soft grass and eat my sandwich. I'm nearly done when I get a tingly feeling in my spine. I spin around, fear growing in my stomach. The light wind blows the tall grass causally, the stalks brushing against each other. I let myself relax. What was this feeling I was getting? I don't know. Maybe I'm actually sick for real. Then out of nowhere, I hear hoof steps. I jolt upwards from my belly and look around furiously. Has somepony found my secret spot?

A small, white pegasus sits on a large boulder, tail wrapped around her hooves. It's a filly, obviously. I'm genuinely surprised and I gasp. The filly is staring at me with caring, purple eyes. I stare right back, mouth open. After a few moments of silence, the pegasus stands up and flutters off the rock. I can't move, I'm so shocked. I find myself comforted by the presence of this filly for some reason I can't explain. She approaches me, the long grass getting trampled under her white hooves. She looks so light. She stops about a foot in front of me, just looking into my eyes. I'm dimly aware my mouth is still hanging open and close it.

"Hi, Pinkie Pie," she says. I stumble for words; she knows my nickname!

"Yes, I know your nickname. I'd have to, having my specific occupation," she giggles.

"What? Who are you?" I ask numbly.

"I'm Surprise."

"H-hi Surprise. How did you find me here?"

"I'm always there. I follow you wherever you go," she states.

"How?" I question in shock, stumbling backwards a few steps.

"I'm your guardian angel, Pinkie. I look after you."

"Guardian . . . angel? So, it's your job to make sure I'm okay?" A strange twinge of something in my mouth made me frown in perplexity.

"Yes! Exactly!" Surprise jumps in the air, wings buzzing. I study her a bit more. She has white fur, bright purple eyes, and a stunning yellow mane and tail; both of which were fluffy and bouncy. Her small flank was adorned with three purple balloons, matching the color of her eyes.

"Wow! You've even got your cutie mark!" I exclaim, pointing. Then I look at my flank, which is as blank as a piece of white paper. I frown. "I wish I had mine . . ."

Surprise perks up, one ear twitching. She smiles slightly and blinks. "Don't worry. Give it time." I feel a small hoof caress my cheek. "I'll always be here, Pinkie Pie. I'm your guardian angel; I will always love you." At those words, I look up, tears in my eyes. Surprise is gone.

"Wait! Surprise! Come back!" I yell. In vain, it seems, as nothing happens. The wind floats through the stalks of grass.

* * *

I sit at my desk. I have a pencil in my mouth and I scribble furiously with it. A box of crayons is sitting next to me. I exchange my pencil for a yellow and continue my work. After that, I grab a purple. A few moments later, I sigh and look at my work.

I drew her. I drew Surprise. I drew her just as I remember her, just as beautiful and delicate as she is. I feel my mouth wobble and put a hoof over it. I blow air from my nose and take the drawing in my mouth. I feel around in my desk drawer for a tack and pull a yellow one out. Perfect. I take the two items and go up to my wall, just next to the door, so that when anypony sticks their head in my room, they'd have to be leaving to see it. Luckily nopony ever comes in here.

I press the paper to the wall and stick the tack in. I take a step back and admire it. My eyes water and I run a hoof along my cheek, coincidently just where she had touched me.

I turn my back and check the clock on my desk. It's nearly eleven pm. I go towards my bed and tuck myself in. I close my eyes in peace and exhale. Tonight the monsters don't scare me.

Because I have a guardian angel.


	2. Why Can't You!

"Pinkamena!" my mother shouts loudly. I look away from the window and see her in my doorway. Of course, the look on her face isn't approving. I sigh and hop off my chair, away from where I was thinking.

"Coming, mother," I mutter. She narrows her eyes at me and turns around to leave.

"We need to rotate the East Field rocks to the South Field," Marble informs me as she walks past my room with Limestone. I press my ears to the back of my head and start after them slowly.

I follow the family out and begin. I nudge rocks and pebbles around the fields, not really caring. They're just rocks. They don't have feelings, like ponies. A few hours pass in silence. The lunch whistles ring out loudly. I see my family walk inside. I dawdle and look up slowly, only to see my father giving me a disappointing looking glare. He turns around and the door slams closed after him. I sigh and turn back to the rock in front of me.

I blink and roll it away with some other rocks. I glance up and suddenly a huge explosion shakes the ground. I jump in shock, my mouth forming a deep grimace. A strong gale blows me back, my mane puffing up like a balloon. I blink in surprise as I look up. A huge rainbow circle spreads out across the sky, followed by a long streak of multicolored beauty forming soon after. It's single-hoofedly the most wonderful thing I've ever seen! My lips twitch once and I feel the corners of my mouth turn up. A huge smile forms on my face. I can't believe it! I'm smiling! I'm really smiling, for the first time in my life. I beam proudly as my eyes sparkle in the spectacular rainbow spreading across my line of sight. Sadly, only a few moments later, the wonder dissipates into thin air before my eyes.

I glance around and tap my chin in thought. Smiling was great! I want to make everypony else smile too! I grin and hop off, the gears in my mind spinning like wagon wheels.

* * *

"We better harvest the rocks from the South Field," my father says as he exits the house. I quickly hurry to finish what I'm working on in the barn. The music is heard, muffled, but heard, slightly from outside.

"Pinkamena Diane Pie! Is that you?" my mother calls as they walk towards the barn.

"Mom! I need you and dad and the sisters to come in. Quick!" I yell as I stick my head out the door. The music blares loudly for a moment before I pop back in. A minute later my family walks in. They stop and gape in surprise.

"Surprise! You like it? It's called. . . a party!" I exclaim, a smile so wide on my face I feel like it's going to fall off. They don't answer, but just sit there trembling as they stare around the decorated room. Streamers are hung across the room, balloons float from chairs, and cakes and treats are all over the various tables.

"Oh. You don't like it." I turn away sadly and hang my head in shame. I knew it was too good to be true. I muster a glance back at them. They all suddenly burst out smiling like crazy. I beam proudly. "You like it! I'm so happy!" I grab my mother's hoof and start dancing. As I throw myself in different positions I'd never thought I'd ever be in, I grin. A sparkling sound breaks me from my joy and I glance around.

My flank shimmers. I stop dancing and my eyes widen. Three balloons, two blue and one yellow, decorate my pink flank. I beam proudly and feel tears in my eyes.

"Pinkamena, you got your cutie mark!" Limestone yells, pointing. I peek another glance at it. Then I smirk, seeing my family watching me.

"Call me Pinkie Pie," I whisper.

* * *

"Surprise! Surprise! I got my cutie mark!" I yell loudly as I sprint to my secret spot. I don't see anything at first, but then the white pegasus pops into view from behind me as I turn around. I smile and hold my back leg up, showing it off.

"Oh, wow! It's just like mine!" Surprise exclaims. She holds hers up too. I gasp, remembering back to just the other day.

"That's awesome! We're cutie mark buddies!" I begin to hop around like a madpony, my tail waving out behind me.

"Hey! We're all matching now, too!" Surprise runs a hoof through her thick, curly mane. I stop jumping for a moment and reach my hoof up to check.

I gasp. "We do!" I smile and laugh. "I'm so excited! This is the best day of my life!" We proceed to bounce around each other.

"It's getting dark, Pinkie," Surprise starts, her eyes on the sky, "we better go inside."

I glance at the sun's position and agree; it's already getting closer to the ground.

"Right. Come on, Surprise, let's go," I say. I turn around and we start walking inside; well, technically Surprise is flying next to me.

"I think I should introduce you to my family! I'm sure they'd like you," I tell her.

Surprise stops. "I'm not sure about that."

I turn to her. "Why not? Are you scared?"

"No, no, it's not that. . . It's just. . ." She turns her eyes to the ground and scrapes her hoof along the dirt.

"A little shy? Don't worry! I'll be right there!" I reach out and take Surprise's hoof in mine. Hers is smaller than mine by quite a bit and it's really delicate feeling, as if I gave it a squeeze it would break in my grip. "Your hoof is small."

"Oh, yeah," Surprise mutters. "It come from the fact I'm a pegasus. Our race has to be smaller and lighter to fly."

"That makes sense," I say. I grin. "Come on, let's go. I want them to meet you."

Surprise looks up. "Okay, fine. But only for a minute or two. I'm supposed to be watching over you in secret, remember?" She gives me a small smile and I return it. I let go of her hoof and lead her inside. My family are in the living room playing a board game. Wow, my party has really changed them.

"Hello, Pinkie Pie," Limestone greets me. She grins and waves her hoof at me. I stare at them in silence and wait for a few moments.

"Is something wrong?" Cloudy Quartz asks me, worried.

I'm a bit puzzled as to why they haven't asked about the pegasus that was _obviously_ standing right next to me.

"Pinkie? Why the long face?" Marble questions. My whole family is staring at me now.

"Aren't you gonna ask?" I wonder.

"About what?" Igneous Rock asks.

"About Surprise!" I point at her and she squeaks, trying to get as small as possible.

My family exchange glances and return to me.

"Who now?" my mom inquires.

"My friend, Surprise. She's right here, you guys. She's my guardian angel, you know!" I announce proudly, sticking out my chest. Surprise waves her hoof shyly at the ponies.

My mom seems to understand now. "Oohh, I get it." She winks at my dad. "Well, hi, Surprise. Seems Pinkie Pie has made a new friend. It's great to meet you." She reaches out her hoof.

"Um, hi," Surprise says and shakes the hoof warily. I can't help but notice her hoof and my mom's hoof aren't even in sync.

"I like her mane. . .?" Marble squeaks warily.

"Thanks."

"It's very. . . pink?" Limestone adds uncertainly.

"Surprise's mane isn't pink. Are you even paying attention?" I demand, stomping my hoof.

My family give me black stares.

It's then that it hits me. "You. . . you can't see her?" My ears fall flat.

"I'm sorry, Pinkie. But imaginary friends are called that for a reason," Cloudy says sadly.

I gasp. "I imaginary! Surprise isn't imaginary! She's as real as you or me!" I take a step back in shock.

"Pinkie, she may seem real, but she's not," Igneous says.

I hook an arm around Surprise, who's hiding in her mane, and pull her close. "Fine! Be ignorant! But Surprise is real!" I take her delicate hoof and we go up the stairs towards my room.

"I can't believe them!" I shout angrily, pacing my room, "I can't believe they have the nerve to say you aren't real!"

Surprise waits. "I'm sorry. I knew it was a bad idea."

I close my eyes and scream loudly, "They are such liars!" I sigh and turn back to Surprise.

She's gone.


	3. A Diagnosis

I sit at my desk, doing homework. I'm now twelve. A year ago, my father enrolled me and my sisters in school for the first time. I have to say, I really like it! The work isn't always easy, but I try and manage to get A's. I especially like art. At the beginning of the school year, we had to draw pictures of our families. The teacher thought mine was so good that she displayed it in front of the class. She had me tell who all the ponies were. The only part I got slightly worried about was when she asked about Surprise. My guardian angel was hopping over me, chasing a butterfly, while I was laying in the ground, nibbling on a rainbow lollipop. I said she was a friend that didn't go to school here.

They believed me.

Right now, I'm working on math. I think I'm good at it. We're working on adding and subtracting fractions. I don't like subtracting that much, but oh well. I'm stuck on this one problem. Seventy over ninety-four minus fifty-two over four hundred seventy. Sigh.

I slowly finish my math and check to see what time it is. Nearly ten. I should probably get to bed, but instead I spin my chair around and see the drawings on the walls, covering much of the space.

"Whatcha thinking 'bout?" a voice asks from behind me. I blink and look up and over. Surprise is hovering above my desk, arms crossed and rump in the air as she floats. Obviously, she's grown with me. Although she's still smaller, as she's a pegasus, we're the same age.

"Oh, nothing. I was just getting to bed," I say to her, smiling.

"Okay. . . " Her ears drop slightly.

I give her a worried glance, one ear falling. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

She looks at me. "I don't know. ." She then gives me a mischievous smirk. "I was just thinking we should play a game." She flitters around my head.

I grin. "Oh, I think I can arrange that." I then pounce on her tail, dragging her down to the floor with a light thump. She lets out a squeak as I pin her delicate wings down so she won't get away.

"I don't think so!" she growls playfully, sticking her flanks up to knock me off balance. I tip slightly, but that's enough for her smaller body to squeeze out from under me. She does a quick go around of the room and tackles me from behind. I stumble forward and twist, landing on my shoulder. I lean forward and bite her soft white ear, eliciting a small squeak from her.

"That's cheating, Pinkie!" she squeals, shaking her head to dislodge me.

I keep my light grip. "Nuh-uh, there's no cheating in this game!" I respond, voice muffled by the ear in my mouth.

"Oh yeah? Well, two can play at that game!" Her wings tip down near my stomach. I see what she's going to do and my eyes go wide. The feathers of her wings start wiggling, delicately touching my tummy. I giggle. She grins and goes faster. I let out a full laugh and release her ear, letting her go. She backs off.

"You're evil, you know that?" I tease, giving her a mock glare from the other side of the room.

"Yes, I do know. It's my specialty. It's why I'm here. All my life, I've been told: "Make Pinkie Pie lose in games of wrestle!"" she replies cheekily.

"Lose? I haven't lost!"

"Then come and get me~" She skips around, an inch off the floor, shaking her rump.

"You're so on!" We go head on and lock our flailing hooves together. We fall over, twisting in each other's grip. I manage to pin her down again and keep her there.

"I win! I'm the earth pony, so I have an advantage!"

"Okay, well, I give you that. I am smaller than you, if you haven't noticed." She sticks her tongue out at me.

From behind us, the door opens. My mother walks in and frowns, seeing me laying on the floor.

"Pinkie Pie? What're you doing?" she asks.

"I'm wrestling with Surprise," I say, eyes wide and innocent. The white filly under me waves a hoof.

Cloudy Quartz frowns deeper. "Now, Pinkie, you've had this imaginary friend for four years now. Isn't it time to move on?"

"Move on? Surprise is real. You may not be able to see her, but she's here. I've told you guys that." I step off the angel and she rolls into a sitting position, hair frizzier than normal.

My mother shakes her head, leaving.

"I guess it's past your bedtime. I better go. Bye, Pinkie Pie," Surprise says. I look away from the door, and to no surprise, the other filly isn't there anymore. She never lets me see her leave.

* * *

Today is Saturday. I'm downstairs eating breakfast when my mother and father enter the room, worried looks on their faces. I think little of it and continue eating. They seat themselves at the table and watch me. I stop, looking up from my bowl of cereal. The spoon stops a few inches from my mouth.

"Yes?" I ask.

Igneous is the first to speak. He puts his hooves on the table. "Pinkie Pie, we've noticed that you still haven't gotten over that imaginary friend."

"She's not imaginary, I said. I've said that so many times. Just because _you_ can't see her, doesn't mean she isn't real." I glare at them.

"Pinkie, dear, she isn't real. You're nearly thirteen now, and I think you should give up this friend and have some real ones," Cloudy says gently, putting a hoof on my shoulder. I push it off, standing up in my chair.

"Surprise is real, I tell you! Now leave me alone!" I shout, slamming my hooves on the table angrily. I jump off the chair and stomp towards the door. My dad stops me with a hoof.

"Pinkie, since you haven't stopped with an imaginary friend, we've booked you a visit with a psychiatrist," he says to me somberly. I take a step back, shocked.

"A-a psychiatrist? You mean the kind of pony that does stuff to foals with problems?"

"The kind of pony that helps other ponies when they have problems with their heads, sweetie," Cloudy says softly, running a hoof under my chin and into my mane.

My mouth is open, tears forming in my eyes. "You- you think there's something wrong with my head?"

"I don't know, Pinkie. We just don't know."

* * *

I'm currently sitting in a room of some office. There's a chair and a desk for the doctor, and a couch for the patients, which is where I'm at. I'm sitting up. I want to know exactly who this pony is right when the walk in the door.

After a few more minutes, the door swings open quietly. A young grey mare walks in. She has a white lab coat on. Her mane is blue and short. A pair of wings are folded up at her sides.

She sits down in the chair, smiling at me. "Hi, you must be Pinkie Pie. I'm Doctor Skies." She sticks out her hoof and I shake it. "Now, Pinkie, why don't you tell me a little about yourself?"

"Well, I'm twelve, and I like parties!" I cheer. "I got my cutie mark from having a party." I point at the balloons on my flank.

"Oh, cool! So, what is your special talent?"

"Making ponies smile! I don't want to do anything in this world except make others happy!" I grin.

She jots something down in a notebook that I just noticed she had in her hoof. I try to look, but she sets in down in her lap before I can.

"So, Pinkie Pie, tell me about this imaginary friend." She leans forward, steepling her hooves, elbows on her knees.

"Well. . ." I shift uncomfortably. "Her name is Surprise. She's a pegasus. She's my guardian angel."

"Like me?" She opens her wings. I nod and she folds the appendages back.

"Can I draw what she looks like to you?"

"Of course! Here you go. Take all the time you need." She flips the notebook to a different page and sets it down in front of me, sliding the pencil with it and a box of crayons she pulls from her coat pocket. I take the pencil in my mouth and begin drawing. After a few minutes, I show her the image.

"Wow; that's- that's very detailed," Doctor Skies observes. She nods and takes the drawing back. "How long have you been seeing Surprise, exactly?"

"Four years. Ever since I was eight," I reply.

She looks surprised. She quickly writes in the notebook and looks towards me again. "Pinkie Pie, would you mind telling Surprise to come here?"

"I can't really. She just comes and goes, mostly. Usually when I'm alone."

"I see." More words are scribbled in the notebook. "Okay, Pinkie, we're going to do an exercise. . ."

* * *

"I'm afraid Pinkie Pie has schizophrenia disorder."

I freeze in my spot. The world slows down, going in slow motion. My parents hug each other, my mother crying. My mouth hangs open slightly. As soon as I hear those words from Doctor Skies' mouth, my heart skips a beat. I don't believe it! I don't! How can I have schizophrenia? I'm not delusional! I can tell what's real and what's not!

"If it goes any longer, you could be seeing more than just hallucinations. I'm prescribing loxapine and chlorpromazine three times a day."

Medication? I don't need any medicine! I'm perfectly fine!

"You're lucky she hasn't become worse. Tell me: has she ever had difficulty expressing emotion?"

"Yes, when she was younger. She never smiled or talked. I mean, we didn't really either, until she got her cutie mark. After that, well. .

"That's when she starting seeing her imaginary friend."

My mother's words cut through my heart like daggers.

"I see. So this has been going since early childhood?"

"Yes."

I don't cry. Why should I? They're not right, after all. I don't have any mental disorder. If they don't believe me, then fine.

"Alright. Here's the prescription."

Doctor Skies hoofs over the piece of paper. Igneous takes it and looks at it, forlorn.

"Don't I get any say in this?" I ask, fed up with them acting like I wasn't here.

"Sweetie. . ." Cloudy starts, putting her hooves on my shoulders, "mental disorders aren't something you can really control. If you need this medication, then you're going to take it to help yourself."

"But I'm not crazy!" I slap her hooves away angrily, closing my eyes and looking away. "I'm not! I'm not. . crazy!"

"Of course you're not, Pinkie Pie. Don't listen to them," Surprise says, suddenly behind me. I look up and grin, eyes sparkling.

"Hi, Surprise! I'm so glad you're here! They're trying to say I'm crazy!" I laugh. I point then point backwards at the assembled ponies.

"Pinkie, you're far from crazy. I'm real. I'm your guardian angel. Would I lie to you?"

"No. You would never." I shake my head to emphasize my words.

"Then tell them that!"

I glance back and see the adults looking at me, startled.

"I don't have schizophrenia. Surprise is real, and I know so. She said she was real. She would never lie to me," I state firmly.

Doctor Skies blinks, mouth open. She then turns to my parents. "Anyway, treating schizophrenic disorders doesn't happen with just medicine. Treatment it is a lifelong process. She'll need to come in five times a week."

My mother nods. "Of course."

I sit there with my mouth open, startled. They don't even care! They don't care that I _know_ for a fact I'm not crazy! I growl, lip curling in a snarl.

"Fine, fine! Just ignore me then! Don't listen to me! I don't care! It's your fault, your fault!" I scream loudly, stomping my hooves. "Just lock me in some crazy house! Leave me there to rot! Who cares about Pinkie Pie?" I feel myself getting angrier and angrier.

"Pinkie, calm down," Doctor Skies says.

"No! I. . . I don't want to." I suddenly sit down. I don't know what's wrong with me all of a sudden. I was feeling just fine. But now. . I don't know, something just isn't right. I let my ears drop limply on my head.

"It's going to get worse. Why don't we start tomorrow? After school, from three to five sound good?" Doctor Skies asks.

"That sounds good," Cloudy says, nodding.

"That's that then." She smiles, perking up. "You'll just need to go get the medication."

* * *

"Now, Pinkie Pie, you're never going to get better if you don't answer my questions."

I look up, glaring. It's my third visit this week and I've barely said a word, I'm so angry. I shouldn't be here. I'm not a crazy pony.

Doctor Skies rubs her temples, sighing. She looks at me and frowns. "Pinkie. If you're going to get over this then we need to talk."

"No," I say simply.

"And why not? Don't you want to overcome this? Live a normal life?"

"I _am_ normal. I don't have schizophrenia. I've said that already." I cross my arms.

"You can't argue with science, Pinkie."

"Yes you can."

Doctor Skies' eyebrow twitches. She takes a deep breath and holds it in, then releases it slowly.

"Listen. I'm not going to make you talk to me. If you want to remain silent, then fine. But you're never going to get past your schizophrenia if you don't."

"If I had it, maybe I would worry."

"That's the thing, Pinkie. You don't know you have it. You never knew. You just thought you were normal, a normal little filly with an imaginary friend and a cutie mark for making ponies smile. But that's not it. You've been hallucinating. The way you got your cutie mark? There was no giant rainbow explosion. Your mane didn't become curly from it. You simply changed your style. You received your cutie mark from making your family smile by throwing them a party. Your life has been changed because of this, Pinkie. You need to accept that." She pats my hoof gently.

I look at her, eyebrow raised. What she said did make some sense. What if. . . what if my whole life has been a lie? What if all this time I've been hallucinating? But then. . . what about the rainbow explosion? How could've I imagined that? Could I have thought up something that beautiful? I'd never seen a rainbow before. . . at least I didn't think I had. Oh no. I'm doubting my memories.

I _do_ have schizophrenia.

I gasp, ears falling behind my head. "I. . I have it. I'm a crazy pony."

Doctor Skies shakes her head. "You're not crazy. It's not something you can control. It's not you. It's your head that's messed up. But that's doesn't mean you can't have a complete normal life."

"Then. . half of my life has been a lie." I sit there blankly.

"No. You just thought it was real."

"I don't even remember if it's real or not anymore. A few months ago, I was so sure. Now. . . I don't even know myself anymore."


	4. Ponyville

I stand staring in the mirror. I'm now fifteen. I'm not the same filly I used to be. Ever since being diagnosed with schizophrenia at age twelve, ponies look at me differently. My mane has long since deflated. I'm not treated the same as I used to. When I walk by, dozens of eyes are on me. I hear whispers all the time. Sometimes I don't even know if I'm just imagining them. Perhaps I'm just imagining everything. Maybe nothing's real at all.

I mean, who's to say anything's real when you've been diagnosed with something that says you don't know reality from imaginary?

"Pinkie Pie," I hear from behind me. I shift my head slightly to the side and see Surprise standing there. She comes into focus and I turn around to face her.

"Hi. I haven't seen you in a while," I say to her, no emotion held in my voice. Surprise takes a few steps towards me.

"I know, I'm sorry. It's. . . been a rough few weeks."

"Weeks?" I scoff. "I haven't seen you in months." I glare at her dully.

She looks surprised, her mouth opening. "Months? Oh, Pinkie, I'm so-"

"Stay away from me!" I back up from the advancing pegasus and hit my rump against the mirror. "You aren't welcome here anymore."

"But Pinkie. . ." She looks heartbroken, her eyes filling with tears already. She weakly extends a hoof towards me, but I turn away.

"No." I stick my nose in the air.

"I'm sorry. . if I had known, I would've. . ."

"But that's the thing!" I shout, swiftly jerking around to look her in the face, "you wouldn't have! I've needed you more than ever, but you abandoned me. In my time of need." I feel tears running down my cheeks. She just weakly opens and closes her mouth.

I continue. "And you know what? You're not a very good guardian angel. You're just selfish. You tell me to say you're real, but then you leave me. They ask me if I see you anymore, but I can't really say that I do, can I?" I see the look of anguish on her face. "Can I?!"

Surprise shakes her head in disbelief, not able to say anything. "I. . .I. . ."

My mouth forms a snarl. "Can I?! Can I?!" I take a breath, not caring if the little white pegasus was crying or not. "Can I, Surprise?! Tell me!"

"N-no!" she cries, letting it out, "you can't! I'm sorry!"

"That's what I thought." I huff angrily. "You know, if you were any sort of 'angel', you'd be there all the time. You'd protect me. But you're not doing any of that, not at all. So, leave. I never want to see you ever again!" I let the final words rise in volume, allowing her to see just how angry I am.

Surprise swallows back more tears, glancing sideways for a moment. She then turns back to me, an angry shield forming around her. "F-fine! I don't care anyways! I never w-wanted to look after a depressed wimp like you! So, yeah, I'll leave, and I won't ever come back!" She opens her wings and leaps into the air. I blink. She's gone.

I harrumph, glad that she's gone. I nod my head firmly and turn away from where she vanished. It's only as I'm taking a step towards my door that I realize what I've done.

I'll never see her again.

* * *

"Well, bye family! I'll be sure to visit!" I call as I walk towards the door. My father nods at me, my mother waves, and my two sisters do the same. I stroll out into the sunlight, my eyes bright, saddlebags on my back. It's when I start walking that I feel the happiest I've ever been. My hair inflates in glee as I realize that I'm finally free. My schizophrenia is at the lowest it's ever been; I haven't had an episode in nearly a year.

Then why do I feel so empty without her?

Surprise was my best friend. Why did I drive her away?

No. She was ruining my chances of becoming normal, that's why. Stop thinking these things, Pinkie Pie. It's just going to make you relapse into your old ways.

I continue walking in silence. I bounce around, stopping to smell the flowers and eat them. Mmm, dandelions. Okay, well, they're not technically flowers, but still. It's still food.

As I approach the train station, I feel my excitement rising. The little town I've grown up around didn't have anything for me anymore. I used to be content with the little things here, but lately I've found that I don't. If my sisters are, that's fine with them, but I couldn't live like that. I just want a simple life, filled with fun, but this little old town was too simple. Ponyville seems just right.

"One ticket for Ponyville, please," I say to the pony behind the glass. She glances down and fishes around in a box. She returns her gaze to me, slapping a small green ticket on the counter.

"That'll be ten bits," she says. I blink.

"Ten? Are you sure? I mean, last week it was only five."

"Yes. It's ten bits or nothing."

I look at the seven bits in my hoof. I didn't have enough. I couldn't go back now! Then, I get an idea.

"How about five bits?" I ask, sliding up the money. She furrows her brow and looks at me.

"Ten."

"Five."

"Ten."

"Five!" I throw my hoof in the air.

"Ten!" she yells back, slamming her hooves on the counter.

"Ten!"

"Five!"

"Okay," I giggle, swiping the ticket off the counter and smiling, "have it your way! Five bits it is, then!" I try galloping off, but something grabs me from behind.

A large stallion has his hoof wrapped around my tail. I see a badge on his chest.

He glares down at me from over the top of his dark sunglasses. "I advise you return the ticket, Missy."

I peer back up at him, giving him a sheepish smile. "Sure will do, Mister Cop!" I toss the ticket at him and sprint off, not even taking care to get my five bits back. Sweat falls down my face and I wipe it away, letting my breath out. I then realize that I have only two bits left. For cinnamon's sake. I sit down on a rock. I'm only a bit outside town, but it's getting dark and I have nowhere to go. I can't go back to my house! Then they'd be right, saying that I wouldn't have been able to do it.

I sigh loudly, my mane going limp. It looks like a deflating balloon, half bubbly and half straight. I feel tears in my eyes and put my face in my hooves, elbows on my knees. I sit there for a while before I hear hoofsteps. I glance up, tears still hovering in my watery eyes, preparing to fall.

There stands the pony I never thought I'd ever see again. Surprise.

The pegasus looks upon me, her eyes forgiving and sorrowful. She sticks out a hoof in my direction.

"Hi buddy," she says sadly. I sit up straight, mouth open.

"Surprise?" I ask numbly.

"Yeah, Pinkie. It's me." She looks expectantly at me. I remember her hoof is still out and latch onto it. She heaves, using her light weight body to pull me up.

"I. . . I never thought I'd see you again. It's been a year." I look into her violet eyes.

"Just because you can't see me doesn't mean I'm not there. I've always been watching." Surprise glances away briefly. "I'm sorry. About everything."

"No," I say, shaking my head, "it's me who should be sorry. I'm the one who got mad and said the mean things first. I've been a real meany lately."

"It's alright. I shouldn't have said those things either."

We share an embrace, not letting go for a few moments.

"So," I say, "we friends again?"

She giggles, "Yeah, Pinkie Pie, friends."

I suddenly pull back. "But what am I supposed to do now? I have no money to get to Ponyville."

"You really think I only came to cheer you up? I'm supposed to help you too, you know." She shakes her head slightly, allowing several bits to fall into the dirt, little indentations around them as they hit the earth.

"You have money? How did you get money?" I ask, looking in awe at the coins laying at my hooves.

"I have my ways," she snickers mysteriously. She looks at me out of the corner of her eye as she turns slightly, a smirk on her face. She puts her hooves up near her mouth, trying to hide it- but only slightly- then opens her wings with a quiet ruffling of her feathers.

"Wait! Do- do you have to go so soon? It's been so long. I still want to talk to you," I say, reaching out for her.

She spares me a glance, but doesn't say anything right away. Surprise waits, her violet eyes falling to the ground, then focuses her gaze on me, still turned away slightly.

"Pinkie, you don't need me. You'll be fine; I promise, this won't be the last you see of me." She smiles sadly.

"Pinkie Promise?"

She blows some air out of her nose in amusement. "Pinkie Promise." She does the actions. I try to not blink for as long as I can, but I feel my eyes watering and let them shut. She's so fast. I'd never be able to watch her leave.

"Thank you."

* * *

The train ride is bumpy. I kind of like it. I watch the long curl of my hair that always hangs over my face bounce as the train goes along. It passes the time, at least, but inside, I'm in turmoil; Surprise is the only thing on my mind.

What if I only see her every other year, or something crazy like that. Ever since I'd gotten angry at her for being gone in long periods of time, I'd missed her. I didn't like to admit it, but it was true. She'd been a part of my life for eight years. I couldn't live without her. But even though she doesn't come around very often. . .

I still love her like family.

* * *

"Final Destination, Ponyville! Please be careful exiting the train!" the conductor calls as he walks through the train cars. I snort, waking up from my slumber. I look eagerly out the window to see what the town looks like. I gasp in excitement.

I quickly grab my saddle bag and throw it on my back. I then scurry off the train, trying to go faster than all the slow ponies in front of me. I excuse myself several times before I finally make it to the door. I feel the sun on my coat, warming me.

"Ooh, I'm so excited!" I squeal, hopping in the air, hitting my hooves together. I bounce off. First thing on my mind: find somewhere to live.

My Pinkie Sense is tingling slightly. I never could explain it, but hey; I can't even explain why I'm pink and the rest of my family is grey.

I don't know where to go at first. I just decide to wander and hope that I'll find someplace. But as I walk into Town Square, an amazing smell draws me off course. The sweet smell of baked goods fills my nostrils, causing my hooves to switch direction. My eyelids flutter as the wonderful scent invades my senses, blocking out everything else. I blindly trot towards the source. . . and run into a door. The smell breaks away as I do, but I look up at where I'm standing.

It looks like a gingerbread house, but, ya know, an actual house. I grin and throw open the door, not caring what I was searching for but a few moments ago. It smells so great as I open the door.

"Why hello there! Welcome to SugarCube Corner! How may I help you?" a voice asks me, breaking me out of the sugary spell. I blink and look up, seeing I've meandered up to the counter.

"Hi! SugarCube Corner, huh?" I ask, smirking slightly. I let my eyes wander over the selection of treats for a moment. Everything looks so amazing. . . but eventually, I see the perfect snack. It's a simple cupcake, but it has layers of rainbow frosting piled on top of it, complete with a cherry.

"Oooh, what's that?" I point a hoof at the glass where the cupcake rests.

The orange stallion behind the counter smiles. "That's our Rainbow Swirl cupcake. They're a great one."

I grin, eyes shining. "How much?"

"Three bits." I glance into my bag. I have just enough left over from the bits I got from Surprise. I'm not sure. But what's better than a cupcake?

"Okay. Here you go!" I set the bits on the counter and he swipes them into his hoof and deposits them in a cash register. He then reaches down for the cupcake and sets it on the counter. I grab it, a huge smile on my face, say a quick 'thanks!', and scurry off to grab a seat. I sit myself down, taking my time to admire the treat. I feel my mouth watering, drool dripping down my chin. I don't realize I am until I feel a tap on my shoulder. I jerk out of the spell and glance behind me.

A light blue mare with a large amount of hair piled on her head-reminding me of frosting-smiles at me. "You have a bit of something, dearie."

"Oh, yeah. Sorry," I say, looking up at her. I return my gaze to the cupcake. "But this looks _soooo_ good. I don't want to just eat it right away. I won't be able to get another one. I've gotta make it last."

The mare tilts her head at me. "Why ever not?"

"Oh, well, I'm not from here. I just got here. This is where I'm going to start my life. I don't have a place to stay or anything yet. In fact, I was looking when I smelt this place. I just had to follow it." I blink at her.

"That's nice. What ever made you decide to come to this little old town of Ponyville?"

"The place I was living in wasn't even big enough for a real name. Just a few buildings is all. And I'm not much of a city mare."

"I see what you mean. I think Ponyville is just right, too. Well, good luck on your search, dear. I must get back to work." She gives me a smile and I return it gladly. I then turn my head back to the cupcake. It looks so good. . .

So I smash my face into it. I yank my head back up, frosting and cake bits stuck all over my face. A stupid smile is on my lips. I then blink, looking at what I've done.

I didn't even know! Stupid schizophrenia.

"Oh no! I've done it again. ." I mutter sadly, my gaze settling sadly upon the smushed dessert. I wipe some off my face, then lick if off my hoof. My eyes grow huge and my tongue slides around my face, cleaning me up.

"Mmm. . ." I smile and finish the cupcake. I then hop onto my hooves. I'm really jittery now, one of the side effects of sugar with my mental disorder. It's just one of the unique things about me interlocking with the disease. Now I'm all hyper, so I might as well wait a bit. I won't be able to think straight like this.

"Excuse me. . . but, um, could you please. . ."

I jerk back in surprise, hearing someone talking to me. I glance around and see a small yellow pegasus near my hooves, cowering low to the ground.

"Yes?" I ask.

"Well. . um, you're, um, standing on my. . . oh, never mind. . ." She slides to where she's no more than a shadow practically. It's then that I realize I'm standing on something. It's her extremely long tail. I quickly hop off.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I wasn't paying attention."

"No, I wasn't. . . . sorry."

"No. It was entirely my fault."

"Okay. . sorry."

I sigh. "So. . . what's your name?"

"Fl. . ."

I lean down, one ear swiveling out to hear her. "Excuse me?"

"Flut. . " I look at her with my blankest face. "Fluttershy. . ."

I perk up. I grab her hooves and swing her to her hooves, giving her a huge hug. "Hiyah, FLuttershy! I'm Pinkie Pie! Wanna be friends?" I grin in excitement at her face, which is stricken with the most terrified look ever. I blink, not breaking my gaze.

"Sure. . . ." Most of her face is hidden behind her long pink mane. I hug her again.

"Alright! First friend here! I know we'll have so much fun!" I close my eyes for a moment, then turn my attention towards the window. It's getting dark again.

"Oh shoot! Sorry, Fluttershy, gotta run! Bye!" I exclaim in panic, settng her gingerly back on the floor and shooting off.


End file.
